Coming out as a non-tea drinker is a traumatic event for a citizen of this country.
One can hear the murmuring when one enters the room, one has to cope with abuse being hurled at you from passing cars, one constantly lives in fear of having one's citizenship revoked, one is afraid to write 'I' when talking about the phenomenon and has to use 'one'.
We offer compelling evidence of the centrality of tea in Irish life.
Look vaguely like torturers sent to punish the non-tea drinking fraternity
Makeshift cups only add to the ambience
The ruling classes are always pushing tea on us
Four year olds are seasoned tea drinkers
They're fond of installing fancy tea-master style contraptions in dark places
No one touches sandwiches when there is tea to be downed
The boot of a car is regarded as the best place to slurp up some tea
And here...
It's a wonder there are any tea-shops in Ireland given the people's love of the car boot
The man on the right is clearly a non-tea drinker who has been forced to drink tea
If a Bond villain drank tea, this is what the scene would look like...
Photos: @Sportsfile
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