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Election Newsflash: Healy-Rae Zombie Army On The March, Hide All Children And Livestock

Election Newsflash: Healy-Rae Zombie Army On The March, Hide All Children And Livestock

In a startling video broadcast direct from the plane of the undead, the gawping, re-animated corpses of the Healy-Rae dynasty took to canvassing via YouTube this week.

Surrounded by an oddly unenthusiastic zombie throng, Michael and Danny Healy-Rae laid out their respective claims to the Kerry vote this year, while watched over by a macabre army of people who appear to have been swindled into attending with the promise of some stew and a leaping contest.

Naturally, both scions of the Healy-Rae clan asserted that they should themselves be Number 1, but the pair were, at least, unanimous in the belief that they should both get in, and by any means necessary. You’d be tempted to call them the living embodiment of unambitious cronyism in our fine state, but there simply isn’t yet enough evidence that they are actually alive.
Watch for yourself and see if their bewildering pitch works its magic on you, like it did all those fascinated supporters in attendance. At least before they were called away on other business, like burning the reclusive scientist out of that castle on the edge of town.

Seamas O'Reilly

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