If this is wrong, I don't want to be right.
Can you feel the love in the air right now? I know I can. I can feel it all the way down to my plums.
Ben Derham and Paddy Hegarty are two students from Cork who, it's fair to say, are very fond of each other (maybe too fond?) - so much so that they wish to leave this life behind them and ride off into the sunset together. For 36 hours. For charity.
That's right, Ben (21) and Paddy (20) have just applied to take part in Jailbreak 2016- a race to reach a chosen, foreign destination within 36 hours of departing Ireland without money, using only their love and Google Maps to guide them. But mainly their love.
Jailbreak takes place each year in association with Ireland's 8 largest colleges, and raises funds for both Amnesty International and Saint Vincent De Paul.
A UL student, Ben has co-run an ever-expanding charity rugby competition in his native Cork for the past 5 years. Emotionally drained after filming the hair-raising sequel to JD and Turk's most intimate moment, he said:
I've decided to put my life at risk by applying for Jailbreak HQ 2016 with Paddy.
We made an extremely cringy entry video but with my record, things can't get much worse, really.
Ben was referring, of course, to his brief stint on Corcaigh Shore - a mock-mini-series which spanned one episode back in 2013 to widespread critical acclaim, before its mysterious disappearance from Youtube earlier this year - in all likelihood at the behest of Ben's co-star Cian Twomey.
Thank you to Paddy for at least trying to learn almost all of the words 15 minutes before filming it, and thank you to Ben Murphy for your top class cameraman skills.
Please Lord let us get accepted.
As for Paddy himself, the UCC student remained coy when approached for comment, responding simply:
Ahh sure, my CV isn't great anyway.
If you're reading, Jailbreak HQ, we implore you to do the right thing and accept these lads into the competition. We plead that you do not stand in the way of Guy Love, for if JD, Turk, Paddy and Ben have shown us anything, it's that love between two guys can take you anywhere.