The 12 Reasons Why Ireland Is Now Officially On ISIS' List Of Enemies

So apparently we are now on the ISIS 'Coalition of Devils' list after they included Ireland in their latest video aimed at scaring the Bejaysis out of everyone.

A lot of people are asking 'What the feck did we do?' but when you consider ISIS really hate sex, passion and all that goes with it, the reasons behind Ireland's inclusion on the list are pretty obvious. Here are just 11 examples of the sort of shit that put us in their bad books.

1. The cross-dressing in Mrs Brown's Boys

Although ISIS are not alone in their hatred of Mrs Brown's Boys, they're probably the only people whose umbrage comes from the fact that Brendan O'Carroll is dressed as a woman.


2. Coppers

A haven of debauchery, the mantra 'If you can't get the shift in Coppers then you can't get the shift' anywhere has made its way to Syria.

Not only are they angry with the unleashed hormones but after a fruitless night testing out the theory they're now seriously pissed off.

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3. The content of Polly Clarke's novels

In particular, her latest work 'Bejewelled with Kisses.'

4. Take me up to Monto

Ireland was once home to the largest red light district in Europe, and we don't mean the sort of red light you hang over sick animals in the hope it will keep them warm.

5. The Molly Bloom soliloquy in Ulysses

Such filth.

6. #HomeToVote

Jaysis no, ISIS didn't like that at all at all.

7. The whole Charles Stewart Parnell and Katherine O'Shea debacle

There is strong evidence that it was actually ISIS who gave Katie O'Shea the derogatory nickname 'Kitty.'


8. The promotional posters for the second season of Tallafornia

So much flesh on show.

This may be one of our finest ever television programmes but I'm afraid it pissed off ISIS something serious.


9. Richie Kavanagh's filth

Have you ever got the ride? Did you ever get it in? When this first came on their local radio station 'iSISRadio' they were in no way amused.

10. The Bishop and the Nightie affair

The year was 1996 and Gay Byrne had a husband and wife on the Late Late Show for a couples quiz. 'What colour was your wife's nightie on your hooneymoon?' asked Gay, to which the husband Richard answered 'It was transparent.' Eileen, the divil, answered 'I didn't wear any.'

Queue outrage from a bishop in Galway that Sunday. Indeed he wasn't the only person disgusted with such smut. ISIS were listening too.

11. Eddie's sex addict girlfriend in the new series of Hardy Bucks

She's the raunchiest bit of stuff to appear on Irish television since the aforementioned Polly Clarke. A temptress who has instantly made enemies with ISIS.

12. Miley and Fidelma in the hay on Glenroe

And now we come to the worst of the lot.

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Horatio Hawkeye

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