Nonsense

Massive Upset As Ireland's Sexiest Taoiseach Is Finally Revealed

Massive Upset As Ireland's Sexiest Taoiseach Is Finally Revealed

The votes have been tallied, the €55m e-voting machines have been scrapped, and seven or eight people have contacted us to let us know they vomited.

We can, at last, reveal the final standings in our poll to find Ireland's sexiest ever Taoiseach.

And there's been a huge turn up for the books at the top spot.

The sexiest Taoiseach of all time is none other than Cork dual-Gaelic games star Jack Lynch. If we're honest, it's a slightly anti-climatic upset.

When asked for comment, one of the only Irish people to have actually voted told The Sliced Pan,

It was the tunnel. It was all the tunnel. I just think, to have a tunnel named after you... That's just the most irresistably Irish thing imaginable.

It's certainly hard to argue with.

Current Taoiseach Enda Kenny finished in a perhaps surprisingly lowly 7th, just ahead of Charles Haughey, with a trio of Bertie, John Bruton and Brian Cowen propping up the table as the least sexy Irish leaders in history.

Incredibly, after conceivably insinuating that former Taoiseach John A. Costello might have been a blueshirt, his nephew genuinely contacted The Sliced Pan with the following comments:

Screenshot (385)

The full ranking of Ireland's Taoiseachs in order of their sexiness is as follows:

12: Brian Cowen
11: John Bruton
10: Bertie Ahern
9: John A. Costello
8: Charles Haughey
7: Enda Kenny
6: Garret Fitzgerald
5: Liam Cosgrave
4: Seán Lemass
3: Albert Reynolds
2: Éamon de Valera
1: Jack Lynch

Tags:
Gavan Casey
Article written by
Former handwriting champion. Was violently bitten by a pelican at Fota Wildlife Park in 2001.

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