Culture

15 Key Ingredients For The Perfect Irish Summer

15 Key Ingredients For The Perfect Irish Summer

The first stage of Irish summer may finally be upon us.

The only way to tell for certain, of course, is to keep and eye/ear/nose out for the 15 tell-tale signs of Irish summer.

1) Penneys Shorts

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Sure there's feck all wrong with them.

2) Rockin' The Shorts-Socks Combo

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Our refusal as a nation to abandon socks even during the two-day long dead heat of summer, along with our failure to fully embrace 'summer shoes.' It's basically a case of, "I'm going to wear what I wore in February, minus the legs of my pants."

3) Calippos

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Many consider Calippos to be the 'cup of cha' of the summer. We hold out hope for the day they decide to do multipacks.

3) Multipacks

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Waiting for these bad boys to freeze when your mother comes home from Dunnes or Lidl is widely regarded as one of the greatest tests of character in Irish society, so why not treat yourself to one of the 168 Capri Suns from the fridge?

5) Irish Hair

6) These Yolks On Car Windows

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The badge of honour. "We were away this year, alright." They'll stay up until November.

7) Old men sitting outside Supervalu with portable radios physically assaulting their eardrums while they repeat to themselves, "Jaysus ya can never write off Cork."

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8) Bah...bah..bah...dah dah dah dah

9) Ruffians walking around cities topless, with their t-shirts tied around their waists like it's 1998

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10) Inflatable swimming pools

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Obligatory.

11) "It'll turn into tan!"

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12) The 'Barbecue and a few bottles'

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13) The last minute scramble for these exact burger buns

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"Oh Christ! They'll be gone!!!"

14) The smell of freshly cut grass

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I see you, baby. Cuttin' that grass.

15) The stench of sun-heated wheelie-bins.

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Forever perplexed by the fact that, despite their invariably differing contents, there is a universal 'bin smell.' And boy does it peak in August.

15) The same clothes on the clothes-line for five days straight

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Almost daring the rain to come at us. Well, I'm certainly not bringing them in. I cut the bloody grass.

Tags:
Gavan Casey
Article written by
Former handwriting champion. Was violently bitten by a pelican at Fota Wildlife Park in 2001.

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