While the whole attention is being paid to the marriage referendum there's also the small case of the country being asked to vote today on whether people ass young as 21 could be allowed become president.
The odds would indicate, thankfully, that a no vote will happen here. Al Irish people should be equal - unless you're under 35 and want to become president. I mean, just think of what might happen....
1. Press releases after foreign trips will be replaced by '10 things I learned from my trip to Thailand' etc.
Trade missions will never be the same again.
2. The president will inevitably end up doing the walk of shame from a university campus in Dublin
Political spindoctors will inevitably start spinning it as 'The stride of pride'.
3. The President's other half will become known as 'The First Bae'
This made me vomit a little. Vote no!
4. They'll going missing for months on end when needed to draw in silage
'I don't care if you're the bloody president, you're father needs you home!'
5. Daily One Direction concerts in the Phoenix Park
And it'll be footed by the taxpayer of course. A terrible prospect.
6. Fist pumps will replace handshakes
High fives galore, too.
7. Manifestos will include the ability to throw teabags into a mug from really far away while Snapchatting
Sure look it, it's as good a reason to vote for an Irish president as any.
8. Aras an Uachtarain will become pre-drink central
'Hello? Can get a taxi into Coppers for ... 195 people.' 'The address?' 'HERE, PRES, WHAT'S THE ADDRESS OF THIS SPOT?'
9. We'll be the first country in the world to have a president get caught gooching cans
Sure there's never enough time to get through all your cans when pre-drinking. Especially when you're flat out being president.
10. We'll also be the first country in the world to have a president get a tattoo on their face while in Santa Ponza
'Pres, the approval polls are in and turns out the public aren't a big fan of the whole drawing of a penis on your forehead thing.'
11. The president's bedroom in the Aras will actually be moved into the zoo
This actually sounds like a great idea.
12. The Seanad will become known as 'The Squad'
Apparently groups of friends are called squads now. What a load of shit. Vote no.
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