Had Aussie rapper Iggy Azalea prized her new chin from Tony Abbott himself and screwed it into her face live on the six o'clock news, there scarcely would have been such a reaction to her 'alleged' plastic surgery, which literally nobody should care about.
Heaven forbid someone should wish to ease their insecurities and actually feel good about themselves without the Twitter gobshites analytically dissecting their newly curved countenance. Maybe it'll help her to rap, which at present she certainly cannot do. Here are 13 more important things than Iggy Azalea's surgery:
1. RTÉ's 2003 reality tv series, 'Celebrity Farm.'
We wait with bated breath for a second season.
2. Refuse sacks
Known throughout Ireland as 'black bags.' We're very astute.
3. How many 'luvs' you had on Bebo.
"Where is the luv? And where are my keys?" At least I had more than this poor bastard.
4. Saving 'The Growing Tree'
Lord knows what the Morbegs were on about. What even were they? Hairy frogs?
5. The dead wasp that's been on my bathroom floor since last September
Dramatic re-enactment.
6. The prop used for Goldmember's dead skin in Austin Powers: Goldmember
It'd make for an interesting 'where are they now' segment
7. The gap in the couch where you lose 97% of all your possessions
A black hole of upholstery. Like a lucky dip into a bag of sand.
8. The Wikipedia page for RTÉ's 2003 reality series 'Celebrity Farm'
9. 57 minutes of Jason Derulo singing his own name
10. The 2008 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop' video game
Blart rides again. Actually, this is kind of important. You can play it here.
11. This berk
12. AC Slater's belligerent disregard for chair etiquette
Classic Slater.
13. The infamous 2013 'bridge crack' incident at the Spaghetti Bridge Building World Championships
Oh, it's real.
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